When you are looking for a therapist, it is important to get some essential questions answered.
The most frequently asked question we get at the center from people interested in therapy is:
-What does the treatment process look like?
At The Center for Healthy Relationships, we walk each of our clients through a systematic process that puts our clients in the driver’s seat. Yes, we know what the process should look like, but we never forget that we work for YOU. Our end goal is to make you independent of us and back in charge of your life.
We are interested in not only helping you heal, but we are committed to giving you the tools you will need for healing now and for resolving issues that come up for you in the future.
How do we do that?
In this post we will outline five of the essential steps that we believe will get you back in the driver’s seat of your life in the shortest possible time and with the most effective results. They are listed here in a sequential order, but the order will be customized for you when you sit with us during the treatment process.
Reconnection of Your Body & Mind
As strange as it may seem, most of us have experienced the perfect conditions for creating the habit of tucking our feelings neatly away and making our best efforts to make choices, complete tasks and succeed in relationship using our logic and reason. Those conditions were created for us and the process of shutting down feelings in service of reason and logic has worked well in lots of situations. Unfortunately, there comes a time when this strategy stops working.
Because we cannot move effectively through life without regular access to our feelings – which are housed within the body.
Our feelings come from within our body (not inside the head, like most people believe) and provide the motivation for our actions. Those feelings start or are inspired by the way we think.
To start to make sense of your experience, you must first re-connect to your feeling self within you body. Because this is the pathway to awareness of the thoughts that need to be re-programmed for your success.
Activate Your Programmed Healing System
Once you are able to understand where your feelings are coming from, you can begin to determine whether your feelings are in-context with your current situation or signaling warnings from the past that may not be congruent with the now. You will begin to value your feelings system as a warning signal to help you change your current situation, if that is what is needed. The same warning system can also show you valuable insights about where healing needs to take place – because you are safe, but afraid.
Understand Your Feelings
Once you understand your feelings and their context, they will no longer post a threat to you. Instead, you will see them as valuable and helpful guides in your healing process. You will be able to navigate through them with confidence and that confidence will grow with practice. You’ll be able to stay in the present and make better decisions. You’ll feel happier, calmer and more self-esteem.
Separate The Past from The Now
Every time you have a feeling that feels out of proportion with your current circumstances, you will be able to see that – sometimes, even before you act in ways you don’t like. With time, you’ll be able to choose behaviors proactively. They will be actions that serve your needs and help you develop healthy relationships with others.
Replacing Out-of-Context Beliefs & Actions with Those That Work For You Now
Once you have a handle on what your feelings are telling you and how to determine whether or not your responses are present-moment-focused, you will be able to replace the beliefs that were used to keep you safe in the past with better, more grown-up, useful beliefs that fit your values system and needs today.
This is the essence of work we do at The Center for Healthy Relationships. If you have further questions or would like to get started, please feel free to reach out to Tamara at 626-657-0061 or e-mail her at tamara@centerforhealthyrelationshipsla.org.
